Monday, January 11, 2010
Making the Perfect Muscle Omelet
If I took my cooking advice from most bodybuilders, I would have left the sport a long time ago. Now, don’t get me wrong, I choke down my fair share of bland foods when it’s necessary, but rarely is that the case anymore.
I still dabble here and there with other meals, but breakfast is something I’ve mastered, and the foundation of that meal to me, is the omelet.
This is my recipe for the PERFECT muscle-omelet:
Omega 3 enriched eggs (Cage-free or Free-range preferred; organic)
I know, I used to hate spending the extra couple of dollars on these eggs, but honestly, they’re far superior to the $1.25/dozen white eggs you normally buy. The protein is of a higher quality, the eggs come from a clean source, and the higher omega-3 content is very beneficial to all-around health. Plus, I’ve never found one piece of bird crap on these kinds of eggs. – Go ahead; buy those cheap white eggs you want to get. When you see a brown spec on one, scratch and sniff.
4-cheese Mexican blend
I don’t know quite what I like more; Mexican cheese or Mexican women…I think the cheese. It lasts longer, and doesn’t scream at me. Oh snap!
Ham steakPigs are cute, but they are cuter in my stomach.
Delicious, and adds color if nothing else.
Not a white onion or purple onion, but the yellowish one.
Not margarine. Not butter substitute. Not lard, but REAL butter. Organic butter is the best. – Don’t you dare ask me if you can use that non-stick cooking spray garbage.
I’ve played with all kinds of salt; sea salt, iodized salt, non-iodized. Just get regular salt and save yourself the hassle.
It’s nice to have a black pepper grinder, but obviously it’s not a big deal if you don’t.
Whatever you drink will work. Don’t get any special kind for this. If you don’t drink milk, you can skip this part.
8-10in non-stick pan
This is where the masterpiece is created.
Large mixing bowl
This is for the entire ingredient mixture. Make sure it’s large enough for you to beat the heck out of your eggs and not deal with spills.
This will be used to set your preliminary ingredients in.
This is for beating and aerating the eggs. – Some people choose to use a whisk; to them I say, “Good Day.”
I wish I could better explain what this looks like. You know those pancake spatulas most people use? – Ya, don’t use one of those. You will look stupid, especially in front of me. You don’t want to look stupid, do you? – On a more serious note, the pliability of a rubber spatula allows you to not only flip the omelet better, but it allows you to scrape the corner of the pan to get at any egg that has run-amuck.
You know that Slap Chop thing with Vince? Ya, one of those. There are all different kinds, but I actually do have the Slap Chop. What can I say? I enjoy Vince’s nuts.
You don’t have to go out and get a $100 chef-knife. Just make sure you have something with a sharp blade or else this will take a painfully long time.
This is for your chopping and cutting. It hurts me to say that I have to tell some of you what this is for.
Making the Muscle Omelet
1. Gather your red and green peppers and sweet onion. Grab your knife and cut enough of each for the meal. I usually dice up all of it and throw it in some Tupperware and just use it over the next few days, but it’s all up to you. – Now, take what you’ve cut and dice it with your chopper. Gather it and throw it in the small bowl.
2. Take your ham steak and cut it in half. This should be about 4oz of meat. Now, cut that into smaller pieces so you can fit it in the chopper. Dice the meat until it looks like tiny squares. Toss that in the same small bowl as your peppers and onion.
3. Crack your eggs (I use between 3 and 5 depending on my diet goals; DO NOT take out the yolks. This “egg white omelet” thing needs to end!) on the side of the large bowl and pull apart the shells with your thumbs. If you can do it with one hand without getting shells in the bowl then you’re a jerk and I don’t like you. – Okay, I’m just jealous.
4. Turn on the stove to medium, set your pan.
5. Grab your fork and beat those eggs like you’ve never beat anything before. – You think I’m joking. Beating the eggs to a messy, gooey pulp makes all the difference. DO NOT stir the eggs, BEAT them. Flick your wrest back and forth; sort of like you’re dealing cards, just a lot faster.
6. Toss a teaspoon of butter in the pan and swirl it around with the spatula.
7. Give your eggs one last quick beating session. Toss the preliminary ingredients (peppers, onions, and ham), as well as a splash or two of milk into your egg bowl and beat for about 15 seconds. Dump all the ingredients in the pan. At this point it should be slightly sizzling, but not much.
8. Let the egg mixture sit for about a minute and a half. Toss in a generous amount of cheese. Add salt and pepper.
9. Peek under the egg with the spatula. It should be fully cooked.
10. Fold the omelet over and let it cook for another 20 seconds or so.
11. The omelet should easily slide off the pan and onto your plate.
It will probably take a few practice runs to get it just right, but it will be well worth it. Learn to enjoy your mornings the best you can. Being able to make a delicious breakfast over a cup of coffee is something I take great pleasure in and I hope you learn to as well.